Tag: ft willz
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smacking against rock bottom. fallen headfirst down that rabbit hole out of fucking nowhere, eyes wide, limbs flailing.
“i’m losing sleep, i’m losing friends.”
my only apology is that I have none to give. either way, the show must go on (and on and on and on and on and on and quitfuckingthisupnow).
marching to the beat of a funeral dirge.
but is it mine?
who the fuck knows. no one knows anything.
metastasizing. losing my place in the li(f)e i apparently lead, and watching it all spiral.
“houston, we have a problem.”
fuck houston. ground control’s got no control over anything, just like everyone else. still floundering through empty airspace, gone catatonically comatose. i’m always sour to the taste, bitter to the end, selfish to a fault. i’d love for you to hate my guts if they weren’t already covered in ulcers that only a mother could love.
apologize?
are you even listening?
there’s no more room for my skeleton(s). the one inside this horribly heavy, hindered body climbs out of its skin and walks the world, all by itself, light and free.
that sickening feeling when you’re not yourself. i’m not myself. who is myself? myself is no one. that’s who I am.
no one.
08/25/2013 this account said (above)
1/14/2013 from franks website below
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take whatever you want from me, but know that none of the hate and pain is free.
i saw the end of the world in my sleep, it was like a horrifying dream that fell in too deep, like a flailing infant into the deep end of the pool that figured out it couldn’t breathe. pupils dilate and hairs stand up on the back of my neck, i’m flaying myself open for you. i can learn to live with my darkness and my tragedies, you can trust me. please trust me. there’s a lot here that neither of us understand, and the air between is full of empty questions and loose promises floating along like so much discarded human detritus. oh, there’s so much that we don’t know.
you need to understand.
i need to understand.
they need to understand.
floating above the ceiling staring down at the grotesque masquerades that i’ve committed, i’m just sorry that i never took the time to tell you. all our molecules are colliding and yet we’ve never even touched, but it’s the oxygen carrying all my bad intentions over to you (understand?). there’s still so much left for me to see, i don’t believe i can possibly cram it all into my already swelled to bursting brain. but someday i’ll find the space, someday i’ll see it all. and someday, you’ll see exactly why it is that i kept so much
wraps
under
05/19/2013 what ftw said above:
this was said 5 days after it was posted on 2013 frank-iero.com
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it’s not even funny how often i have to keep myself from diving at your throat. venom-filled teeth, straight for the jugular. misguided, misdirected rage and scathing irritation, boiling up while vultures circle overhead, occasionally dropping in to pick at the bones. (“the vultures ate my baby today.”)
whose bones, i wonder. or is it more of a what, an it, a thing, a sigh a frown a tear a sob a scream a whine a a a
a b c the end yet?
do you?
useless outlets for pitiful talents, it all gets torn to bits, anyway. you give yourself to people and they take and they take and they take and you’ll never get it back, so don’t give it away. the problem here is that no one really trusts anyone else. but maybe it’s better to trust no one, prepare for the worst. make sure to have a survival kit ready for this black fucking hole in my black fucking soul, assuming they even make them anymore. hunker down and wait it out, and hope that i don’t set it upon everything that ever existed.
i’m sorry that my insides are as sooty and repulsive as an uncleaned chimney, really, i am.
or maybe i’m not. it’s not like i’ve ever really tried to scrub everything out, anyway, because it’s all part of who i am.
(professional opinion says that’s about as unhealthy as living solely off shitty fast food and cocaine. fuck professional, let’s fight it out, motherfucker, are you ready for a fucking fight, motherfucker.)
i don’t give a fuck about how that makes you feel. maybe that’s just the bastard in me.
desperation overwhelming hopeless drowning darkness drifting nighttime nightmares not even close to sleeping i’m obsessed with not obsessing perfect storms and endless screaming open your eyes just open your fucking eyes fucker
i hate pretty much everything i do, and i learned that from you (only you no one else just you do you see the joke now do you do you). i guess i really am your bastard.
you fucking sucker.so @f-t-willz-must-die-blog said this in 2013??
and fantastic bastards by death spells came out in 2016??
at the time this was posted, death spells had performed 6 shows.
“fantastic bastards” wasn’t released to the general public until 2016 (when nothing above nothing below came out)
so I previously thought this blog was not a legitimate ft willz blog, but since they posted death spells lyrics in 2013 (from a song that didn’t come out until 2016) I’m starting to suspect this is a true ft willz blog.
there are a lot that look similar (like @f-t-willz-must-die is a fan account)
but the one i’m reblogging from is starting to look suspect.
I did find a 11/19/2013 performance but thats 2 months after the blog post. even at the other 5 shows, I doubt a fan was able to pick out the lyrics of a song they’ve heard only once live and paste them to their blog.
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2008 livejournal discussion about f.t.willz
both posted by anon in 2008. and where tf did they get that idea
I liked this persons case below
and some relevant comments here
found new ft willz poetry on 2009 livejournal that match with franks from his 2013 website. will update with info.
top is from frank’s 2013 website – bottom is from drockdriot000 on lj
they match
ok so previously all I was able to prove was that “shits bananas when you’re disinterested” from franks 2013 website matched the title to a blog entry on ft willz 2008 myspace. but I didn’t have the poem.
the poem is here on drockdriot000’s 2009 livejournal – an ft willz fan. it’s still not irrefutable but it seems that this fan copied/pasted this from ft willz blog 2008 myspace blog. because it’s 2008 and people don’t need frerard to be real yet. people aren’t going to LENGTHS yet, yknow what I mean?
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2008 livejournal discussion about f.t.willz
both posted by anon in 2008. and where tf did they get that idea
I liked this persons case below
and some relevant comments here
found new ft willz poetry on 2009 livejournal that match with franks from his 2013 website. will update with info.
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2008 livejournal discussion about f.t.willz
both posted by anon in 2008. and where tf did they get that idea
I liked this persons case below
and some relevant comments here
